Holiday Gathering

Ok so I had a few friends over on Saturday for a little holiday party. Yes, it was just an excuse to make sure some people came over and saw my Christmas tree which I am pretty partial to not going to lie. This is the first Christmas season in 5 years that I didn't have exams or the Bar Exam looming over my head and I could enjoy myself. We all had a really good time. My friend Debbie was the first to get there with Craig one of my law school friends not to far behind her. It was a while until anyone else got there and then every seemed to get there at once which is kind of what I expected. At one point I looked around the room at everyone that was there and I had to smile because I knew some of them from Babson, my cousin, some friends I met from other friends, karaoke people, and a friend from law school. Other then Craig everyone knew each other and were catching up swapping stories and it just felt good.

I enjoy playing host and I have decided that the smaller gatherings like Saturday were there are 10 of us hanging out it's just right. I just don't have the room to have big bashes but I still like to entertain. It was a bittersweet night for me in one way Andrew came which it was good to see him but he moves to Jersey tomorrow and so this is the last time that he will be at one of my parties without having to have made the trip from out of state. I had a couple of friends that said they wanted Drunk Jackie to come out but I tried to explain to them that really no you don't. She isn't that much fun to be around and come on what are you trying to say I am not enough for you. I have to admit that I hit the punch a little harder then I would have liked to admit and I was probably only one or two glasses away from her coming out shhh don't let them know.

It was great to have a night of hanging out with friends and relaxing. I just wanted to let you all know that you are always in my thoughts. I hope that everyone had a great holiday season.

Merry Christmas to All...

Wow you know I really believe that kids are what make Christmas so much fun! In case you are wondering how many nieces and nephews I am up to now the answer is 10. Yes, you read that correctly I have ten nieces and nephews, 6 nephews and 4 nieces and let me tell you they are hysterical. Justin the oldest who was born my Senior year of high school is 13. Jack who some of you remember because I would babysit for him at Babson when my sister Kathy was in a bind and working there is turning 12 in February. Yes you read that right he is going to be 12 soon.

So I buy for my three godsons and give the parents the gifts so they can open it in the morning. My nephew Liam calls me yesterday morning and sounds like he is about to jump out of his skin not only did Santa bring him the Wii he wanted for Christmas but I got him one of the games that he REALLY wanted!! He was calling to say THANK YOU and let me know how much he loved the gift. It was just TOO CUTE. I asked Carolyn later about the kids reactions and she said that Kyle and Liam were jumping up and down this morning with their eyes bugging out when they saw the Wii and the games because they were so excited. How can that not just make you smile and bring that much more meaning to Christmas. We actually managed to get all the kids together after they finished unwrapping their Christmas presents and here is a picture of all of them.
I also realize that it has been a while since some of you have seen my parents and if my Mom knew I put a picture of her on my blog she would probably kill me but good thing she doesn't know I have one. Here is a picture of my parents opening their gifts that we got them yesterday. This is as close to my Mom smiling as you can get since she does not like having her picture taken.
I really wish I could take pictures that would appropriately show the chaos that is a Christmas with my family with all the kids and my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandmother from my Mom's side. There is no way to really show that in the pictures but we all had a really good time. Hanging out the extended family got there around 1:30 and all seemed to leave by around 6:00. Of course my sisters, brother and I decided to hang out a bit longer and we didn't leave Mark's until around 8:00.

Now my Mom started a tradition a few years ago I can't remember if it was before or after Liam was born but she started making flannel pajamas for her grandchildren and she would give them to them on Christmas and we would take a picture of all of them in there PJ's and we would include it in the next years calendar. My siblings make a calendar of the kids that we give to my parents as part of their Christmas present. Now I would like you to remember that my Mom now has 10 grandchildren and she has decided to make one set for the boys and one for the girls. Well here is one of the pictures that I took last night of all the kids. I am not sure what was on my lens but you can still see them.

Of course in order to take the picture someone had to round up the boys and tear them away from the Wii that the Regan's got for Christmas. After the parents tried a couple of times I went up and told them it was time to pause the game and go down and take the picture. When a couple of them protested I told them the quicker they went down and cooperated the sooner they could come back to the game and it should only take 5 minutes. The good thing about these guys is you can reason with them and they know (as you do as well) that I don't really take no for an answer so we could do it the easy way or the hard way but they would have to come down for the picture.

All the guys went into the dinning room around 5:30 to play some cards which was good it left the rest of us girls to sit around the kitchen table and talk while enjoying some of the Christmas cookies and other treats that were brought. The card game broke up around 7:00 and my parents went home and I stayed since Laina said they could drive me back to my parents. Hannah who is getting so big and is now 10 wanted to hold Molly and Maggie and Kate were playing right around them so we took the opportunity to take a picture of just the girls. Come on you have to admit they are REALLY cute kids.

Well I think that is enough from me about my Christmas. I hope that everyone had a Happy Holiday season and I hope to catch up with everyone soon.

Holiday Season Catch Up

I can't believe that Christmas is in two days. Seriously?? Really?? I just don't know where the time went. This is the first year in five years that I didn't have exams or the pesky little test of the MA Bar Exam to study for. Somehow I still feel like it passed by with the blink of an eye. I also realize that I have been lax about updating my blog and for that I am very sorry. I realize that this is how some of you try to get an idea of what is going on with me and I will try to be better about giving updates in the New Year.

Stories from October until now I can't put in one post and give enough credit to all of them but giving you the highlights so you have a general idea. There was a Halloween Party at Canadian Andrew's that got broken up by the cops which is kind of funny because when I got there I saw my friend Kinney dressed up like a cop and from the distance I was at thought it was the real cops so that was kind of ironic that at the end of the night around 1 or so the actual cops showed up. I had already left but had fun hanging out and seeing everyone that was there. I didn't do anything too creative I recycled my crazy cat lady costume since there wasn't going to be anyone that had seen that at this party. Election night I had to work at the second job and I had one person ALL NIGHT so we closed up early and I was able to jump on the orange line and go to Andrew's and see the election results. It was Debbie, Andrew, Leah, Canadian Andrew, Tami and myself. We had a blast watching John Stewart and Stephen Colbert's coverage of the event and flipped to MSNBC and FOX to find out what had happened. The next weekend was Andrew's Birthday and I threw him a birthday party dinner at my house with a few friends and then we went to An Tua Nua to hang out. I can't tell you much of what happened at the bar because I was very drunk. Then I had Schraut's 30th bday party the next weekend as well as the Welcome Back Boy and Matt Night out which meant starting the night at the Milky Way in Jamaica Plain and ending it at Tavern in Central Square.

Then there was Thanksgiving and my Dad's birthday and having to work the day after Thanksgiving not so much fun. The first weekend in December I headed down to Hoboken for a long overdue visit with the NYC contingent and there was a solid showing on Saturday night. Friday night I took the Megabus down which I would highly recommend to anyone that needs to get to NYC for the weekend on the cheap. When I got to Hoboken Maureen and I went to drop off my stuff and then went to a bar to meet up with Sue, Neil, Heather, and the boy Heather is dating. I told my friend Flaherty where I was and that I would love to see him. I turned out that his GF lives close to the bar and it was one of their favorite hangouts so they stopped by as well. It was GREAT to see him and catch up and to get to meet his GF Lisa who he has been with for almost two years now. Friday was a lot of fun and then Saturday during the day was a very low key Maureen and I did some shopping and watched a movie. Then we headed into NYC to have dinner with Gretel and Jamie at Film Centre Cafe which had AMAZING mac and cheese and the prices weren't that bad at all. Then we went to Social and meet up with Mei, Jules, and Kimmy and had some more drinks and caught up. Sunday I had lunch with Flaherty and Lisa and then got on a bus and came back to Brookline. Very good weekend and just the right amount of busy for me.

The next weekend I had lunch with Sharon and then went to see Twilight I am now totally obsessed with the Twilight Series. Sunday we had our Regan Christmas Party with my Dad's side of the family which is always a good time and my Dad drove me home that night so he could take me to get my Christmas tree which was a bit of a debacle but we found one and I was very happy when I got it home and all decorated. Last Wednesday was Andrew's karaoke send off since he is moving to Jersey City the end of the month. He promises he is going to have to come back at least once a month of course I am the type to only believe what I see so I am reserving judgment right now. It really won't be the same without him but here's hoping that he does come back once a month and that happens to make him there on Wednesday nights. Thursday night was his last gig with the Max Klau Band with him living in Boston. There is a selfish part of me that hopes he will still have chances to play with them but we will have to see what happens.

Last weekend it never stopped snowing in the Boston area and I still managed to go to Olivia's surprise 30th Bday party at Vox on Boylston St. on Saturday night and Sunday Travis was nice enough to drive me down to Plymouth for a Very Reddy Christmas which is always good. There you go that is highlights of what has been going on with me for the past couple of months. Hopefully I will get another one of these written in the next couple of days to tell you all about my Christmas but at least you are caught up on some of the happenings now.

Erin's Wedding

I can't believe that Erin is married?! OK I can believe it but it's just strange. I mean Erin and I have always hit our milestones together or at least at the same time. Now I was a bridesmaid in her wedding and I got to stand up and be a part of her wedding day. Now before you get any ideas I think her husband (did I seriously just write her husband?!) is the perfect match for Erin. I have always liked Ryan and I am very excited that I got to be a part of them joining their lives together. There is a part of me that is sad. I always thought that we would get married around the same time and have our kids around the same time. I kind of planned on that since I knew that my siblings were going to have their kids before I was ready. I always thought no big deal Erin and I will be having kids around the same time. Maybe we still will no one knows what is in the cards for anyone and what life is going to through at you. What I do know is that I am very single and now my first and oldest friend is now married and on her Honeymoon. I couldn't be happier for her. I am just a little sad for me.

Soxtober is here again!

There really is no better time of year to a baseball fan then October when your team is in the playoffs. Sunday night I went over to Beel's to check out his new HDTV with surround sound and hopefully watch the Red Sox sweep the Angels. I had a great time hanging out with Beel and check out his place and the TV was nice. The game was a roller coaster ride which is to be expected. It got to be 12:30 and the 12th Inning was about to start so I decide that I need to leave and see if I can catch the redline into Park to grab the C line. I know that since the game was going late that usually they will still have trains going out. I get to Porter T stop and I am standing on the platform by myself and they announce to step back from the platform that they are not going to take any passengers. I stand back and look very sad and the train did stop and picked me up which was nice of it and then at Park St it was held for the game. I went upstairs and caught a C train and walked in the door at 1:20 on Monday Morning awesome way to start the week if we can. No big surprise that on Monday night I decided to watch my boys from the comfort of my own home to make sure that if it went late which of course it did that I could just crash.

Now with Lester pitching Monday night I felt good and he did an AMAZING job on the mound but in the 8th Inning when Masterson let Hunter hit a single and two runs got in to tie I will admit I was not feeling so great. I knew that the Sox could pull it out and get it done but man we went 12 innings the night before and Tampa Bay was done if we had to go to Anaheim to finish the Angels and didn't have the rest and they did the ALCS was not going to be pretty. We are playing well but we are using all our resources. Thankfully Jason Bay hit that double and Oh Lowrie hitting that single and seeing Bay determined to get home was AWESOME! I can't imagine what that felt like for them but for me and plenty of Red Sox fans out there it was a beautiful thing to see.

Here we are going to ALCS the defending World Series Champions to play Tampa Bay the team that won the AL East this year. This is going to be a tough match up but Game 1 isn't until Friday which gives us a few nights to recover and since they are on the same coast there won't be any games starting at 10:00 which ensure that you aren't sleeping that night. My Team survived and gets to play another round. When your baseball team is in the playoffs it heats October up and reminds you that anything is possible. So GO SOX! I can't wait to see where you take us next.

Moment of Nostalgia

Or more like two and a half hours of it. I went to see the New Kids on the Block last night at the Garden in Boston and I no longer care what anyone has to say about seeing them in concert. New Kids was my first concert EVER at the tender age of 12 and let me tell you that seeing them last night brought me right back to that first concert. These guys are good at what they do and I acknowledge that the place was filled with women. To the point where they put up signs over the men’s room says Women’s room for bathrooms since they knew that there was going to be too many women there not to do that.

They opened with one of their new songs Single which was good but they did a lot of the classics like My Favorite Girl, Please Don’t Go Girl, Tonight, The Right Stuff. It was awesome and if you liked New Kids when you were younger and they are coming to your area then you HAVE to go. I will admit that when I got there and was waiting for them to come on there was a part of me that was like "was this a good idea?" I mean I LOVED them when I was in middle school but that was a long time ago. Then the screen flashed a message and they were starting the introduction and I was seriously sitting in my seat baited breathe. I can't describe it any other way. I was giddy with excitement and as I sit here and write this I am still giddy with excitement.

They sang, they danced, they played up the Boston boys angle and we all had a BLAST! Once they came out I never sat down. I screamed, I sang along and danced my butt off. It was a GREAT night and I don't care who knows that I went. That concert is absolutely up there in my top 5 and I have seen a lot of concerts and different performers but these guys still have that IT factor. They connect with the audience and they make you feel appreciated. They didn't care that more then half the songs that they sang on Sunday came out over 15 years ago. They know that those are the songs that we came to hear. I enjoyed the new stuff and I have the songs on my Ipod now and have a blast listening to them but I went to the concert for a night of nostalgia and I got a lot more then that. I got to see a band that I loved back then become a band that I still love now. So go ahead make your comments and your jokes I can handle it. I would still see them again in a heart beat if I could.

Perfect Wednesday

I don't think that last night could have been any better. I had two tickets to the Red Sox and its the last week of the season and I have not had a lot of quality time with Beel lately so I found it only fitting to call him and invite him to the game. Which of course he was very excited about going. So I talked to him on Tuesday night and I told him to text me when he was at Park St so that I could meet him at An Tua Nua and I would know about when he was going to get there. Well I am at my condo and my parents call and I talk to them for a bit and then I get off and it's almost 7 and I haven't heard from Beel. I of course realize that he probably forgot his phone at the office or home this morning and didn't think to E-mail me and let me know so I decide to head to Tua's to meet up with him and it's now already 7 so I am going to be late to the game. I of course try to call him as I am walking to the bar since I really want to know where he is this is just weird. I get to An Tua Nua at 7:15 and I look in the window and there is Beel VERY excited to see me. His phone broke this afternoon. He couldn't call me and he can't make any calls out so he was worried that when I didn't hear from him that I just went to the game without him.


Now I love my boys and we all know this but I wouldn't have just gone into the game and not given him a reasonable amount of time to get there. He was so worried and then was on such a high when he saw me that it made for a really good ball game. Our seats were one behind the other and in Granstand 24 SO GOOD! We just had the best time and see them come back and win that game 5-4 AMAZING!! I know that it is my last game of the season and I am glad that I was able to go with Beel. The past couple of years while he was finishing law school and had a GF it was hard for us to spend time together and last night hanging out at Fenway was just the best. I really needed it for so many reasons and I don't think it would have been the perfect Wednesday if I brought someone else. He just has a way of making me smile and laugh for no reason which was FANTASTIC.

Let's not forget that when the game was over it was Wednesday and it was time to go to karaoke and see everyone else. Beel popped in long enough to let the crowds from Fenway dissipate so he could get back to Somerville since he is now working. When I got home that night and was getting ready for bed I was on a natural high and just so content I love that feeling. I wish it happened more often.

Just the Right Amount of Busy

Typically my weekends are jam packed and I am running around with my head cut off but still enjoying everything I am doing I just wish we had 3 day weekends so I could relax more. However, I realize that I would just pack more in and it would be a vicious cycle. I can't help it I am a social person at my core and I like to be out and about and enjoying peoples company. That being said this past weekend was not too overly booked for me and I had the right amount of down time and social time which was a nice change of pace. I had to work on Friday night and I didn't get home until 11:00 so I decided to just stay in and watch some of the TV I DVRed for the week.

Saturday I got up and relaxed for a bit watching some more of my shows and then started cleaning my condo and getting things ready since it was Erin's Bachlorette that night and we were starting at my place around 6:00. This turned out perfectly because the one person who missed my house was at the restaurant waiting for us when we had our 7:00 reservation for dinner right down the street. We somehow convinced a minivan cab to take all 8 of us to the North End and we went to the Improv Asylum for a comedy show. It was exactly the type of night out that Erin wanted and I am glad that she had a good time. Once the show was over and everyone was heading home I texted Danielle to find out where they were since Steve was in from LA and Jamie was in from NYC. I went to the Bleacher Bar to meet up with them for a couple of hours and had a drink and relaxed with some friends that I just don't seem to see anymore. Nichole and I split a cab home and I was home a little after 1 AM and went to bed.

Sunday my alarm went off and I decided I can do my laundry later and I have no motivation to get up so I stayed in bed and relaxed and didn't get out of bed until Noon. You read that right I was in bed until noon. I didn't sleep until then I was more just relaxing and lying there but still it was nice to be able to stay in bed until then. I got up had some lunch/breakfast and then had to get ready for my kickball game. I walked over to the field and my friend Danielle had forgot again about the game so she wasn't able to make it but I decided I can make friends I am a big girl I will go anyways. We got killed but I had a lot of fun playing kickball and meeting new people. After the game we headed over to An Tua Nua for some drinks. I just had one and then I had to go meet up with Becky on her Pub Crawl that she organized for her Mom since it was her first time to Boston. I went and met up with them at Kinsale and then we went to Bell in Hand and we had a really good time hanging out and catching up. On the way home Geri and I walked back to Anna's so I could pick up the jewelry I got from her party and the dress I let her borrow. I was home by around 8:00 and I actually fell asleep for a few minutes on my couch and went in to bed a little after 10:00. I was exhausted even though I didn't get out of bed on Sunday until noon. It was the right amount of social and relaxing. I wish I could schedule my life like that more often. That is all I have for you for now. Last night I was boring and went home and relaxed some more.

Winds of Change

Well this week has been a bit of an adjustment for me. I know that I talked to some of you about thinking about getting a second job and most of you know about my search for a new job. Well I started looking for a waitressing job which can be tough because they aren't usually the most flexible about your schedule and they usually require you to work weekends and I really do like having my weekends. So I answered and add on Craigslist for a function waitress at this members club where they do a lot of functions. Of course when they met me they decided to hire me but you want to know the best part no functions on weekends. This is strictly a Monday thru Friday gig and if they need me to work a weekend they will ask me well in advance. I am like WOW! This is perfect. It is walking distance from work, it's right by the T so it's easy to get home and I still get to have my weekends.

I had training on Monday night and I was on the schedule for Tuesday, Wednesday, and tonight. The only night I didn't have to work was last night. It is definitely an adjustment going from one job to the other and when I get home I am exhausted and just want to crash. I think that this is going to be good for me in a lot of ways. It will keep me busy and I won't be spending as much $$. I have been sleeping better because after being on my feet all night and running around it's hard not to crash when I get home and it's giving me a chance to make some extra $$ because you just never know what is going to happen. I wanted to let you know since it is probably not going to be easy to get in touch with me I am going to be running between two jobs and still trying to have a little bit of a social life. We will see how that works out for me. ;-)

On top of everything else I found out this week that Andrew accepted a promotion and is going to be moving to NJ the end of the year. I am very happy for him because it sounds like this is a great opportunity for him and definitely something that he needed to do. Of course selfishly I never like it when someone close to me decides they are going to move away on me but this doesn't mean that he is going to get rid of me that easily. Since most of you know I set up this blog so that my friends that are all over this country can peak in when they have some time and find out what has been going on with me moving to NJ please not going to make a difference. I have been doing a lot of thinking over the past few months and I really don't know what to say. I love that I have been blessed with such good friends along the way but it's funny how the circle of those I spend the most time with always seems to be changing. Over the past year Andrew has been a big part of my life and knowing that he is moving and that is going to change is sad for me for a lot of reasons but what are you going to do life always seems to take twists and turns. I just need to roll with it and see where it leads me. That is all I have for you for now.

The State of our Politics

I just got this from a co-worker as an E-mail and I will admit it is biased toward the Democrats but it does show the holes in the snipits that we are supposed to take as news reports now. I guess stepping on my soap box for a moment:

Now, let me see if I have this straight...If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic, different.'

Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, it's a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America 's.

If you're husband is nicknamed 'First Dude', with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA , your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now?!

Never Forget...

It's hard to believe that 7 years have gone by since September 11th. It seems that with each passing year fewer people seem to outwardly acknowledge this day. Today I have felt very torn emotionally. I am still on a bit of a high from having such a great time on Monday with my girls. However, when I think about what today is and what happened seven years ago it still breaks my heart and makes me eternally grateful for everyone close to me that made it through that horrible day. I am going to keep this uncharacteristically short and just say I hope everyone takes a few moments to reflect on today and what happened. We all need to pause for a bit and remember because for me at least it was the day the world changed.

Archive of News from that day.

Shhh... I was "sick" yesterday...cough cough

OK so as most of you know Syl comes out here a few times a year to visit her BFs family which means we also get to see her. Well once Urs moved to Albany it has been very hard for the those two to see each other and they haven't in about four years. Now I love seeing Syl and Urs but two of us together just isn't the same as when we all get together and we always feel like something is missing. So Syl knew she was going to be out here this past weekend and we started early asking Urs to make the trip out to Boston that it has been far too long since we have all seen each other and Syl hasn't met Logan yet! I know can you believe it? He is the most precious little boy and so well behaved. Well if you tried to E-mail me or call me at work yesterday it was futile and I probably shouldn't put this out on the web but I played hookie to spend time with two of my closest friends. I can't tell you how much I needed just that. Syl got there first and Urs, Dan and Logan were a couple minutes behind. I was busy cooking breakfast for everyone so that when they got there we would be able to eat. Since Urs has the gluten allergy it's just easier to cook things at home then to wonder if there is something in there that she shouldn't have. Plus Urs and Dan haven't seen my place yet and I wanted to show off my condo and let them see that they have a place right in the city to crash if they need it.

After we had breakfast and decide to motivate we got on the T to head into the city and bring Logan to the Children's Museum. We also hit up Fanueil Hall and the new Kennedy park where the Central Artery used to be to show them the nicer parts of the city. Here is the kicker. When we got to the Children's Museum it was closed for the day. Only that day. I was very irritated but all we really cared about was that we were together and able to catch up and have a good time. So we went to walk to the Boston Gardens since Urs wanted to show Logan the ducks since she reads Make Way for Ducklings to him. Of course once Logan was in the stroller he ended up falling asleep for about an hour nap so we found a park bench in the Common and sat down and continued to catch up and talk. Then we headed back to my place fed the parking meter got some food at Trader Joes and went back to my place to eat lunch. By this time it's almost 3:00 and Urs, Dan, and Logan have to leave soon to beat the traffic and get back at a reasonable time back to Albany. We all give hugs and let me tell you Logan gives a really good hug!! Then the three of them are on their way back to Albany. I am so glad that we got to do that thought.

Syl had made plans to go to Cambridge and meet up with her BF and his niece and nephew and play with them for a little while and she asked me to come and I want to spend time with her and it's good to spend time with her BF since they live so far away I feel like I know way too much about him with not nearly enough face time. So we hung out with his niece and nephew and we went to the park right around the corner. His niece has the most beautiful big blue eyes that you can't help but smile when you see her. I was holding her a lot since I love babies and I could get her to laugh and smile. Syl told me that was the most she has ever seen her smile. We headed back to the house and the BF's sister was home and we all went upstairs for a little while. Now I feel a little awkward but I get over it of course.

Then Syl and I have to leave for dinner since we are meeting Sandy, Schraut and Dom at the Rattlesnake. We head over there and there are plenty of tables and it was the right atmosphere since when we all get together we get VERY LOUD and ok I will admit it OBNOXIOUS. So we all start catching up on what is going with each other and had a great time at dinner. We decided that the four of us need to go out and visit Syl and that for MLK weekend next year we are going out to LA. I also mentioned to Dom since she came on the last ski trip that I am planning another one for the first weekend in February. Dom says she definitely wants to come and Sandy and Jenn are both like "me too I want to come too". At one point the waitress comes over and you can tell she has no words. She saw five well dressed women in their late 20's possibly early 30's come into the bar and was not expecting what she got of the stories and the laughter and the shrills as we are all pointing out each others flaws. It made me realize how much I miss these girls and it's just not the same with any friends I have made post college. It can't be you just don't get to know them in the same way.

We decide that the night is still young and Finale is right around the corner and who doesn't have room for dessert? Syl asks how close since I have made her walk around A LOT yesterday since I like to walk the city and she is "totally LA" now and will drive two blocks to go somewhere. Sandy has to bow out since she has a lot going on at work and she needs to be productive. :-( Understandable but still sad since we were all having such a good time. Dom, Jenn, Syl, and I continued our night and we tried to at least keep up appearances in Finale that we were respectable but since the waitress came over with our drinks when Syl was in the middle of a story that some might think of as not appropriate and we all were at a lose for words. Then Syl and Jenn both go to the bathroom and Syl scares the crap out of Jenn and all the waitstaff saw this. We are thinking there is the possibility we might not be welcome at that location anymore. Good thing we didn't go to the one by my place.

I have to say that this morning when I got up. I haven't felt this content in a long time. I know there are still some things I need to tackle like finding an attorney position but overall I am happy with my life right now. I know that a big part of that was my day yesterday with Urs and Syl and having that connection with the 3 of us together. Last night having dinner with Jenn, Sandy, Dom and Syl and just being able to be myself and talk about whatever I want and not have to worry about if I should filter. There is no filter with us girls and that is something I cherish since it is something I am so not good at. To my girls I just want to say THANK YOU! I don't know what I would do without and I am so glad that I will never have to find out.

White Water Rafting

Well I don't know how many of you remember the story of me trying to go White Water Rafting last year out in Western Mass. Now don't get me wrong we all had a GREAT time on that trip. However, I don't really remember seeing any actual rapids and my boat had the bitter racist guide which is just so wrong for that line of work. Then we had the propane grill incident where Andrew bought a hibachi and bought the propane and it wouldn't stay lit so then we were using one that was attached to a tent cabin that Lynlee had rented which never got hot and we tried to cook those burgers for like 2 hours which is why we nicknamed the trip "Propanepolusa" and if you say "it's almost time for cheese" to anyone that was there we will start laughing just a little too hard and sorry you had to be there I can't explain that one well but trust me I think it's HYSTERICAL.

So of course we say we are going to do this again next year and this time there will be rapids. So with that in mind in the Spring Andrew and I get together and start planning for the trip this year and we decide that we are going to go to Maine. Why not? Let's do this right? At first we are thinking that we are going to do the Kennebec and it's supposed to be a good river to get your feet wet. I call to talk to one of the people at the company and they tell me that the part at the beginning is the worst and that if you make it through that it's no big deal. Well wait a minute. I want to have a solid rafting experience. I want to be able to come home and say yeah I did that. I mean I might have a broken bone and definitely going to have bruises but TOTALLY going to be worth it. So I talk to Andrew and we decide we are going to do the Penobscot River in Millinocket Maine. WAY UP THERE for those not familiar it's Exit 244 off of Route 95. Yeah that was a bit of a drive. Anyway, we end up with 9 people going which is a good number and we weren't sure how the boat was going to work out and if they would have us in one or two boats.

Andrew, my cousin and I decide to head up early on Friday. Andrew and I take half days from work and Deb was still on summer vacation so we got up to the campsite around 6:30 and had a great time on the drive up and just hanging out and getting all set up and settled in for the next couple nights. The other two cars got there around 10:30 and then they got all settled not long after the rest of them got there we all started feeling like it would be a good idea to try and go to bed.

OK so I know you really just want to hear about the rafting. Yes the Penobscot has class 4 and a class 5 rapid. I have had a lot of people talking about how all the rain fall means that there is more water in the rivers and that the rapids are going to be even more crazy then they would be normally. I push this out of my head as much as possible since I really don't want to think about it or freak myself out. We get there and they have us sign the waiver that says they are not responsible for anything that happens to us when we are on the river we are the insane ones deciding to do this. I get my life jacket fitted, put on my white short bus helmet, and grab a paddle. So I didn't tell you who went Andrew and I, Deb Regan, Debbie Corliss, Andrew Scholte, Andrew Sutherland, Leah, Katie, and David. Yes 3 Andrew's and 2 Debbie's. Very FUN! David unfortunately threw out his back earlier in the week so he came up for the camping but wasn't able to go on the river for the rapids. So all of us except David head over to our bus and find out we need to meet J.B. when we get there. So we all get there and find out that we are going to be the first boat and that all 9 of us would have been in the same boat and one of us would have been sitting in the back with J.B. not doing anything but holding on and watching. I think that would have been the scariest thing. When you are paddling at least you feel like you have some control but to put total trust in EVERYONE else in the boat. AHHH. Yeah I am not good at putting that much trust in people.

So the first thing that we do when we get in the water is we go down a waterfall and somehow we all stay in the boat. J.B. asks us if we want to go Surfing. Andrew's face lights up so I am thinking this has to be a good thing since he has actually done this before. So we go into this part of the waterfall where it's pretty intense and we get into this point where we are just sitting there coasting it was awesome. Then he has us take the boat back up the waterfall and we go down for a second time this time sideways and that was scary as FUCK. Oh my God! We all got thrown around but wait for it. We are all still in the BOAT! YES GO US! We did some more surfing and the second time when we came out of it Andrew pulls up his paddle and it's bent. He is SO PROUD of his bent paddle it was really funny. Now we pull the boat up and are going down the waterfall for the third time and I am realizing we went forwards, sideways, Oh the bastard is going to put us down backwards to see how well we do. So I look at him when we get back in and I tell him in no uncertain terms don't even think of having us go down this backwards and he laughs. Everyone agrees with me. So we go down forwards and all stayed in. I know that the guides where trying to figure out everyone's ability and to see what they can do. I have to say I am very proud of my group we made it through the WHOLE day and NO ONE fell out of the boat. After lunch when we went to the new point where we went in up by the dam and we turn the corner and you see the gorge and the Class 5 I thought for sure I am DONE. This is seriously the craziest thing I have ever seen and I have a million thoughts rushing through my head and I hold on to that rope with all my might and stayed in somehow. I have to give J.B. a lot of credit he was great and I know that he had a lot to do with us making it through all of that successfully.

At one point when we were drifting down the river waiting for the next section of rapids we saw a moose on the edge of the water. It was such a huge and beautiful creature. We were all so excited it was a little ridiculous but what are you going to do. I tried to take a couple pictures with my waterproof disposable but it just didn't really come out shocking I know. There was also a point where there was swimming rapids and I decided to get in the water and see what it felt like. I was one of the first to decide to go in and they tell you to keep your feet up and if you go under try not to freak out that you will pop out. J. B. also told us to stay close to the boat so I am trying to do everything I am supposed to and water just rushes over me and I have no idea what end is up so I just keep telling myself to keep my feet up and don't worry. Feet up and don't worry you'll pop out. So I pop out and my chill guide is at the edge of the boat practically in my face and saying "Jackie are you OK? You were under the boat!" Now the look on my face I am sure said it all. I told him "I was until you told me that!" Of course I was fine and everything worked out and I am glad that I had no idea I was under the boat when I was under the water. I am so glad that I did it and I can't wait for next year to do it all over again.

That night at the campsite we didn't have any issues with the charcoal grill that Andrew brought it was fantastic. We all hung out and reminisced about the day. Andrew pulled out his guitar and we sat around the campfire listening to him play. It was such a great weekend. I wish I didn't have to wait until next year to do it all over again. Oh well.

24 hour trip to NYC

Ok So I have a confession to make. Most of you remember how when I was in college and the first few years out I would decide to go away for the weekend and jump on a plane or train and go visit someone for the weekend. Once I started law school well something had to give and it appears that my spontaneous trips to visit friends was one of the first things to go. Now that I decided to be a homeowner my disposable income has definitely decreased. I also think that most of you have heard me talk about my friend Andrew's band Max Klau Band well they are in a national competition and they had to go to NYC to perform in shows where they would go up against 2 or 3 other bands and find out if they were going to move on to the next round. Well since I go to all the shows I possibly can in Boston and this is such an amazing opportunity for them I had to go at least one of their NYC shows to check it out. Finally it's Round 3 and this is the last round where they will perform and I am able to make it down to NYC for the night for the show.

I get my friend Kathleen to tell me that she will come down with me and we will have a short visit but a good one. We decide to take the Bolt Bus and get a hotel room and make a trip of it. Now comes the sad part the week we are supposed to go Kathleen ends up having to put her cat down. My heart totally broke for her and I understood why she was deciding to bow out of the trip but now it looks like I am going down solo. So I think about it and decide it's been a long time since I have done anything crazy like this and it's long past needed. I like my own company just fine so what if I am hanging out in NYC for the afternoon on my own. I really wanted to be there to support Andrew's band.

So I take the Bolt bus which I would totally recommend by the way it was clean, and not sketchy people. I enjoyed both the trip down and back as well as the fact it's express we made one pit stop in CT but that was it. It was my first time in NYC is so long and I realized how much I miss visiting there but that I have definitely been there enough since I got off the bus and realized it was 1:00 and since there was only me there was the good chance of getting a last minute ticket to a Broadway show and since it was RIDICULOUSLY humid I thought this would be a good idea. I start walking over to the Broadway area and I see signs for Chicago and decide what the hell. So I went to see Chicago and when that got out I went for a late lunch/early dinner at Olive Garden in Times Square since it has been forever since I have eaten at an OG and I figured they would most likely have room at the bar which they did. Then went and checked into my hotel room and got ready to go to the show. Katie called me when her and Andrew got into town and let me know where they were so I met up with Katie, Andrew, Max, and Beverly at a bar not too far from my hotel and hung out with them.

Now for the show. I don't have words for how AMAZING they nailed it that night. I have seen these guys perform a lot and let me just tell you that was something. They were all on and having such a good time and the crowd that was there for them I just couldn't get over it. I was signing along to all their songs and just feeling like I was on a high because I was just so excited for them. Most of the people there were Andrew's family and friends from high school. It was amazing to finally get to meet all these people that I hear so much about. After I saw them perform there was no doubt in my mind that they won and they will be going on to the final round. They played their set and then we hung out for a bit. I think I was in bed by midnight and then woke up the next morning got on my bus and was back in Boston by 1:00 in the afternoon. All things said not a bad trip. I am so glad that I did it for many reasons but it's nice to remind myself that taking a spontaneous trip usually ends with good memories and moments.

Well it has been a long time since I have posted on here and I have been enjoying the first summer where I don't have to pack everything in before school starts or push everything off until the end after I take a stupid test. It has been great. I of course started out over scheduling myself and falling into my usual pattern of the past couple of years. I have been trying to slow things down a little bit now.

I feel as though now I have passed the bar I am at a bit of a crossroads in my life. I am an attorney and yet my company wants me to stay in the lowest title possible in my group and just keep doing the same work for a lot less money then I can make somewhere else. So I have been in a bit of a bitter state lately and I am trying to figure out what to do and if it is the right decision for me to leave even though I would owe Fidelity money if I do. The more that I look at my current situation I just don't think that I can sit here for another 10 months and train my manager on the law and Fidelity just to get out of my obligation when I am running the legal department for the sub-advised business for a quarter or what my boss makes and what does he bring to the table exactly. I just feel that it has been a great run at Fidelity but I think that it is starting to come to an end.

Now I have to start a job search which I haven't done in seven years because Jen got me into Fidelity so this is weird and unfamiliar territory but I know it's the right thing to do and I can't wait around for a company to see my worth I need to get out there and gain the experience and see what happens. So I am talking to some attorneys that I know that are 40 Act attorneys that I feel like I can ask for their help and I am not putting them in an awkward position. I am getting feedback on my resume and reformatting it. I just feel like I have been scrapping and fighting for anything that I can get and that at this point in my career I really should be in a different place. I realize that Fidelity helped me pay for school and that I need to consider that but now that school is over and I am no longer getting that 20K for school then you have taken that money away from me and now what???

I know this is a combination of things. I have a manager that I don't feel I can learn anything from and my career hasn't advanced at all in the past two years and I don't see how I can go from an SPM to an attorney and I want to be an attorney. I know how that can sound but you have to look at it from my point of view. I just finished going to law school at night while I was working and taking the bar twice while I was working. What is all of that for if I don't become an attorney??? I mean that is a lot of time and money sacrificed to achieve a goal and get a license and then not use it?? I mean that is really what Fidelity expects me to do and it sounds like maybe in 3 or 4 years we will try to get you an attorney position. Well that is great and all but I am going to go somewhere that will give it to me now because frankly there are kids out there with no experience getting hired so the fact that I have this experience can only help me differentiate myself. OK well enough about the state of affairs of my work situation. Until next time...

Life...

Did you ever have a week that started out and you felt like it was full of potential and that things might be starting to go your way and then by the middle of the week you are planning your strategy on how you are going to turn things around? That pretty well sums up my week but I have to say that I think I am ready for whatever gets thrown at me.

Memorial Day BBQ

Well TomO decided he hasn't had a BBQ in a while and threw out the idea of having one on Memorial Day. I was VERY excited about this news. Not only has it been way too long since Tom has had a party or gathering of sorts at his place but it's also feels like it's been a while since I have seen the usual cast of characters that come out. We all start to get there around 2:00 on Monday and Danielle and I of course come with all the sides pasta salad, Broccoli salad, Asian Cole Slaw, Bean Salad, and my spinach Dip. Danielle made Red Sangria which was AMAZING and it was a typical afternoon at Tom's.

Trav and Jules were catching up and having a couple beers on the front porch. The rest of us are mingling between the front and the back. Rick's friend Pete came on his motorcycle and brought an extra helmet in case anyone wanted a ride. Quick little rant. Why is it that Memorial Day is one of three holidays a year that Liquor stores in MA have to be closed. I was shocked to find out I couldn't just grab a six pack on my way to Tom's and thank goodness for the Sangria because otherwise I wouldn't have had anything to drink. Of course you might decide later in this post that the Sangria was a bad idea. Well after we had all been hanging out for a few hours and I was hanging out in the front with Hynes, Jules, Travis and Jamieson Pete looks at me and tells me it's my turn and hands me the helmet. Now I just kind of look at him and I am like Hmmm. but somehow I don't argue. I don't protest at all I just put the helmet on and get on the bike. I don't know don't ask. Hynes of course takes this opportunity to take my camera from me and make sure to get a pic of me on the bike. Here you go in case you didn't believe me.
I know can you believe that I went on a motorcycle ride. What you can't see and I know some of you will probably kill me for is I went barefoot. Why? Jackie are you an idiot?! No actually I had on flip flops that absolutely would have come off at some point on my trip and decided I didn't want to deal with it. Pete knew that I didn't have shoes on and he didn't do anything too crazy to freak me out. You know what I had an absolute BLAST! I would definitely do it again. Of course part of why I would do it again is for some reason you just trust Pete can't explain it. If you don't believe me. Well I have one more thing to show you that will convince you that he is not an easy person to say no to. After I went he went over to Danielle and asked when she was going to take a ride and her response "in a little while." Now if you are familiar with Danielle speak you know that means NEVER but I don't want to fight with you so I hope you just forget to ask me later. Well about 45 minutes to an hour later he walks over to her and says it's later and hands her the helmet. She looks at me and I have a HUGE grin on my face and she does the same thing she puts on the jacket and the helmet and gets on the bike.

This is before they went for the ride and you can still see the fear in her smile. She can't believe that she is really about to do this. There is just something about Pete you just can't say not to. Once Danielle went all the boys all the sudden wanted to go too and Pete spent a good amount of time giving us rides on his motorcycle but he didn't seem to mind one bit. After the rides were over we all congregated around the grill in the back yard for some dinner and of course more beverages of course this is when the day starts to get a little hazy for me but I wasn't the only one having a good time at the BBQ.

I love this pic of TomO because you aren't sure if he can't really stand at this point or I caught him while he was walking somewhere but he looks like he is talking to that dude so I am going with Tom being drunk. Does this mean Tom was as drunk as I was that night. I doubt it. I have to say that Drunk Jackie definitely came out but considering she came out it was a tame evening. I was loud which of course is going to happen when I have too much to drink but I made some new friends which is always a plus.

Most of the people in this picture I either met on Monday or have seen them at other TomO parties but never really talked too much but we all had a GREAT TIME on Monday. At least from what I remember and what I saw in the 254 pictures that I took that day. I mean how can I be wrong, right? Well Tom thanks again for another successful BBQ at the Potomac Residence Inn. I can't wait for you to invite me back again for your next event at the Inn.

Karaoke Update

Ok so it's Thursday morning and yes I of course was at karaoke last night. I seem to remember starting this blog to let everyone know of my karaoke antics and any other good stories that might come of it. Well last night was just another Wednesday for me but I forget that for most people it would be a big night out. I met Leah at 9:15 and we started walking down to karaoke. We walk in and David was there hanging out at one of the long tables and Kev Jr. was setting up the equipment because his Dad was on vacation. I get Leah and I a beer and then we get a book and try to start deciding on a song.

Now my friend Gretel used to come to karaoke in her younger days a lot more consistently but this was also when Tom would still get a group of people together and he had a tendency to push more then I do. I send out an E-mail every Wednesday to those that have come but I don't really badger anyone I figure they will come if they want to. Gretel had been promising me for weeks that she was going to come out last night so in my E-mail on Wednesday I put something about a rumor that Gretel may be making an appearance and that you can't put stock in rumors but you never know it could happen. The best part is my friend Becky E-mailing me and asking who Gretel is. That is when I realized that my karaoke E-mail list has such a hodge podge of people that everyone doesn't know each other.

Along those lines last night Leah invited her friend Nichole who lives near us and she came later. Gretel had her new man Sanjon there and then there was the usual suspects of Laurie, Canadian Andrew, and Andrew. We were all talking and hanging out and because of the E-mail I look around the bar and there is a group of 10 of us which is a small crew and about half of them I know from that bar. I mean I am friends with them we hang out besides on Wednesday nights but we met at karaoke. It is a weird feeling to just walk into that bar and feel relaxed and at home. It doesn't matter if I get there before anybody else and it's just me. I will sit at the bar and talk to the bartenders or the bouncer and just feel so much better about my week.

As far as my song selection went I decided to through back to some of my music from Senior year of high school and college and I did a couple alternative songs. It was the first time in a long time that both of my songs were new songs that I haven't sung before. Not only that but would you believe that Gretel picked one of my songs. She picked the Gin Blossoms out for me and it was a lot of fun. Typically when Gretel comes I am the one picking out songs for her to sing and when I ask what I should do she doesn't know what to tell me. After I did my first song and was trying to decide what to do next she just pointed Gin Blossoms and I was like. I could do that. It's always fun to try out a new song and see how it goes.

My song list:
3 Doors Down - Kryptonite
Gin Blossoms - Follow You Down

Liam's First Communion

So this weekend was a bit of a big one for me. My nephew and godson Liam had his first communion. Now I know what most of you are thinking "Jackie you have a ton of nieces and nephews why is this any different?" Well I will tell you why this one was different for me Justin was born my Senior year of high school I have pictures of me before the prom holding Justin in my arms. Jack and Hannah were born while I was in college another time where you can rationalize way the fact that you were young when they were born. Now Liam is my brother Mark's first child. He was born the summer after I graduated college and when I was living in RI. I remember driving home to Medway because Carolyn was in Labor and finding out that Liam was born the next morning when I woke up at 6:00 AM. I made sure I got up early enough that I would have time to go to the hospital to meet my nephew before I had to head back to RI and get to work on time. Wow doesn't that make me sound like an adult when he was born? Liam is my first Godson and I was so touched when Mark and Carolyn asked me to be his godmother especially since Carolyn has a sister.


On Saturday I got to watch Liam who will be 8 in August walk down the aisle of the church in his khaki's and blue blazer, he had a speaking part which of course I recorded on a video. I just can't believe he is such a little boy now. My sister Jen is very pregnant with her third child she is due on Friday with her second little girl and I can't wait to meet her. Saturday afternoon at my brother's house seeing all the cousins and family and friends just take over the house it made me realize how lucky I am that I have such a big family and that we all get along so well. That we all decided to stick around and stick by our roots of where we grew up.

When someone asks me if I will ever move out of Massachusetts my typical response is I will give you 9 reasons why it would be very hard for me and once my newest niece comes it will be 10. Getting to watch the kids grow up and seeing their personalities really come to light it is just such a great thing to see. If I was only coming home for holidays or weekend trips I would miss out on so much of that and because of that I feel like I have roots here too. I am not saying never to moving out of Massachusetts but I can say that it would have to be an amazing opportunity and person that would get me to do it. Last weekend was just one of many of the things I might miss out on otherwise.

A week later

People keep asking me if it has sunk in yet that I passed the bar. All I can say is it's starting too. The past couple nights when I have been out I found the friends I am with telling the people around that will listen that I passed. It is a really weird feeling because for the first few days after I found out I didn't do too much to acknowledge it. I mean my family helped me celebrate when I got the news on Friday which was great but my weekend was planned before I found out so I wasn't really thinking about it I was still in disbelief I think.

When I got into work on Monday it was tough because my co-worker who graduated law school with me and also took the bar for the second time didn't pass. I remember what it felt like to get that letter that you didn't make it. To know that you had to go through the process all over again. I didn't want to make him feel at all uncomfortable but it is tough because I want to tell everyone I see that I found out I passed the bar. We had our staff meeting on Monday and no one even mentioned that I passed since then they would have to acknowledge the fact that he didn't. My boss is out on vacation right now and I am sure that when he gets back on Monday that he is going to acknowledge my accomplishment but it makes it hard. It made it not sink in so much that I am really done. I didn't get to walk around on cloud 9 all the time. I had to be respectful of the fact that I was done but he wasn't. I didn't seem real the no more tests, no more studying, no more memorizing random laws and facts.

So Wednesday I send out my karaoke E-mail to rally the troops to get everyone to come out and help me celebrate. I couldn't wait to get there and tell the bouncer, and the DJ I PASSED! I already texted the bartender since he gave me his number so I could tell him when I find out. I know I am way too attached to the people that work at my favorite karaoke bar but I don't care. It was a great night and the DJ went on and on telling the whole bar my good news before I got up to sing for the first time and everyone kept coming over and congratulating me even people I didn't know. Finally on Wednesday night it really hit me that I am done. That I made it. That I achieved something that I always wanted but never knew how I would be able to actually do it. I looked around the bar on Wednesday at these people that were out to help me celebrate this accomplishment and 95% of the people that were there to help me celebrate I knew from that bar. They are more then that though these people have become some of my close friends. I realized then that I am truly blessed. That I have this amazing support group of people that are there when I need someone to pick me up, that help me find the strength to keep going, and also come help me celebrate the big things.

So it has been a week since I have gotten that letter telling me that I am now an Esquire. Wow that still seems so weird to say. It feels good to know that I did it but I know I couldn't have done it without all of you. Thank you for all you have done for me and I can't wait to celebrate this weekend with everyone that can make it on Saturday.

I PASSED!!!!

So today has been a LONG day and it isn't even 1 in the afternoon yet. I woke up at 3 AM today since I knew that the bar results were coming in the mail. Of course I was not able to go back to sleep. I went into work this morning since I didn't want to just sit at home and wait for the mail. For a couple reasons 1) I stayed home last time and that didn't work out so well and 2) I would have driven myself nuts I needed to be busy and have things to distract me. I have to say that this morning I was in a really hopeful mood I couldn't explain it I just was in a REALLY good mood. When the time came to leave work and find out. OMG I was an indecisive MESS and you all know that I am never indecisive about things and I am like. Do I want to go home? I don't know I mean it's there but this is it. This is going to decide what my summer is going to look like and if using all my vacation time for the second year in a row for a test was worth it. Kathleen was nice enough to walk me to do the elevator and even offered to come with me if I needed someone. I didn't know what to say a part of me wanted someone there and another part of me felt like this is something I had to do on my own. I get home and I open the mail slot and there it is and I see white and it looks like there might be some color paper behind it. So I opened the letter telling me that I passed the bar at 12:10. Then I immediately called my Mom, booted up my computer to tell EVERYONE and then called my Dad. I still can't believe it. I finally am done with tests and studying and school. I really made it. It's over and now I can finally start my career as an attorney.

I am a flutter of emotions and I seriously almost cried tears of joy when I opened the letter and saw Congratulations! I didn't read anything else I screamed I jumped a little bit and I still can't believe that I passed. Wow. Thank you all of you so much for always being there I never ever could have gotten through this without all your support and understanding especially when I had to be antisocial and hit the books HARD to make sure that it got done. I mean you had to put up with me doing this not just once but twice and I know that I was able to do this because all of you kept telling me that I would do it this time and giving me the strength to keep going even when I wasn't sure if I had the steam to keep going. I get sworn in the end of June and then you will know another attorney. Wow. I don't know what else to say but I wanted to write this post while it was still sinking in.

One day down and One to go...

OK so Day one is behind me and I came home changed into comfy clothes watched some TV ate dinner and then tried to read over some outlines. Well that didn't exactly go according to plan because my mind is FRIED right now. At 8:30 I was starting to get tired which is about three hours earlier then usual. So I decided to put the outlines away. I am going to relax tonight get up tomorrow and get through Day 2. I just keep hoping that I knew enough and I have no idea if I do and I keep wondering if I am doing the right thing relaxing tonight.

Well that is the insight into my head while I am in between days of taking this test. I have no idea if I am any closer then I was last time but I know that I have a better handle on the information I just hope that I know enough to pass this test. I just can't imagine having to do this EVER again. I don't know if I will be able to crack the books and go through this. There are all kinds of things that I keep worrying about but I need to focus on getting through tomorrow and putting everything down in those essays that I know. I need to remember that I can do this as long as I don't let myself get in my way. I am shooting for a 60% that is it. I can do this!!

In case you were wondering how I was doing tonight. There is a little insight. Now I am off to watch some TV and go to bed.

My Valentine's Day and a very Long 24 hours

I talked to my parents last weekend and they wanted to make plans to come in and take me out to dinner last week because I have the bar in less then 2 weeks and they wanted to make sure I was doing OK since they haven't seen me since the end of January. So they picked Thursday night since the weather was supposed to be bad on Tuesday and Wednesday. Which is of course was Valentine's Day but whatever not like I have someone to spend that with anyways.

So my parents get to my place and we drive over the restaurant and My Mom says she really has to go to the bathroom so we hurry across the street to get a table and I tell my Mom where the bathroom is. She goes the bathroom and comes back you can tell something is still wrong and she asks me if I have any Tylenol I told her I didn't but there is a grocery store right up the street I can go get you some what do you need? She was like no and asks my Dad to go get her bag out of the trunk. When he does and comes back she is looking and can't find them so I tell her to tell me what she needs I will go to the grocery store and get it for you. She tells me that she is looking for her Nitroglycerin pills to which me and my Dad are like WHAT?! So I have my Dad leave with my mother right then and take her to the Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital and I was going to settle the bill and meet them there.

She was given at least 9 nitroglycerin tablets and 2 morphine shots in order for her chest pain to subside and the crazy part was all the tests they do to find out if you are having a heart attack, EKG, Chest X-Ray, Cat Scan all showed normal it was only the blood work that showed there was a problem with her heart. The hospital was so full she was in the Emergency Room from 7:30 pm on Thursday until 2:30 pm on Friday I really felt like I was in an ER episode. Around 9:30pm on Thursday night the hospital had started deferring all ambulances and not taking any more patients. They had 50 exam rooms in the Emergency Room and they were all full and there was 20 other patients in the hallway that they had no where to put them. It was crazy and my Mom was frustrated because it is hard to relax when you have so much going on around you and you only have a sheet up for any kind of privacy but once she got a room everything worked out.

The cardiologist came down and started asking her questions and I know that she was sick of telling the story over and over again but you could tell she was curious about the fact that when my Mom had her last heart attack they weren't able to find anything when they went in for the Cardiac Catheterization. That my Mom gets these pains when ever she over exerts herself but she will usually stop and then it will go away. The doctor told us she was going to do her best to try and get my Mom in for a Cardiac Catheterization on Friday and she was able to do it. A Cardiac Catheterization is where they go into a vein in your leg with a small tube and a device that has a video camera so they can look around at what is going on in your heart and when they find the blockage they basically blow up a balloon to make the area wider then put in a stent to keep it from closing again. So they found a 90% blockage in one of the three main arteries in her heart and they said her other two arteries looked good and that they think she should be OK now. She wasn't able to eat or drink anything once she was in the ER because they weren't sure when she was going to be admitted and when they would be able to do the Cardiac Catheterization once it was done it was like 7:00 on Friday night and she had to lie flat on her back for 6 hours. The good news is everything looks good they released her yesterday. She has to stay home from work for the next week and has to follow up with her cardiologist and I am sure there will be follow-up but Thursday and Friday were very long days for me but luckily it all turned out OK. Just wanted to let you all know.

The one I want

What do you do when the one you want doesn't want you back?
Look at me.
See me.
Want me.
Please?
I want you but I don't know what to do about it.
The unassuming one.
The one that is always there.
The one I wish I had the guts to tell you how I feel.
The one I want to spend more time with but afraid to ask.
Then you might know what I am thinking and what I want.
If you don't feel the same way I would be crushed.
What do I do now?

Happy New Year!!

I just wanted to say HAPPY NEW YEAR!! To everyone and apologize ahead of time for the anti-social me that is about to come out. All of you know that this is so not me and that I need my outlet and I may every once in a while call you up and see if you want to do dinner but that is about as adventurous as I get to be until this is all over. Why you ask. Well because even if I behave and just get to bed late I am wiped the next day. I need to have all the energy possible to get this over with. I have one goal for the next two months and that is hitting these bar books soo hard that there is NO WAY I am not going to pass. (To those of you that took this you know what I am talking about) I am looking at the last time as a practice round and I came close and I am taking that to mean that if I just focus these next few weeks I will succeed this time. I am asking all of my friends and family for some understanding over the next 7 weeks or so.

I really wish that I could spend time seeing you all and blowing off some steam but right now I need to keep my eye on the prize and get this over with once and for all. If I tell you that I can't do something it is only because right now I have to put my life on hold and truly eat, sleep, and breathe the law right now it is the only way I am going to cram enough information into my head to be able to show the MA Board of Bar Examiners that I should totally get my law license. I will back with avengence in March I promise and when these results come out I promise I will be partying like some of you have never seen and others have not seen in quite a while.

I hope that you had a fantastic New Year and feel free to E-mail and call when you can. Just understand why I probably won't be able to see you for a bit.